When ur in a relationship, u make the decision to be in an exclusive, committed partnership between u and ur partner…at least that’s how I see it, but what fidelity means to other individuals may vary. Cheating …we all know wat it is. It’s having sex outside of an agreement of sexual exclusivity. Most people have either cheated or been cheated on which makes me think is it even possible to be monogamous? I was raised to believe that All men cheat…at least that’s how my mother feels. I was told that even if ur the most amazing and the most interesting woman, u will never b able to keep ur man from cheating bcuz it has nothing to do with u. It’s the fact that most men have this primal urge for variety.
Most people would agree that women want commitment and security, and men want…well sex. Of course, most men also want to be loved but the fact is that men want to b able to have their cake and eat it too. Now this isn’t a man bashing blog…I love men and am grateful that God put them here on earth, but they are some roaming mofos. I will b the first to say that women stray damn near as much as men do these days so I’m not putting us on a pedestal. There are many reasons for why men cheat and the biggest reason is because they can. Women on the other hand are apparently more likely to stray because of problems within a relationship.
Women usually have the dilemma of being a modern woman whose right it is to enjoy sex and sleep with whomever she chooses, while trying to avoid the reputation of the loose woman. Men are celebrated and congratulated while women are encouraged to act lady like. Some couples choose to go for open relationships, but I think they just open the door for more problems. Women who have open relationships only do it bcuz their afraid of losing an already uncommitted man.
Women in the past relied on men for financial and emotional security but nowadays we can provide for ourselves which makes it really easy to tell ur man to kick rocks with no shoes on. I’m tired of men using the excuse of being a man to justify their ways…wat the hell is that supposed to mean? Men want to cheat and have it not be seen as a big deal. They want us to overlook their ways but I guarantee u if u cheated on him, he wud throw u the deuces faster than Chris Brown. I feel like everyone (man or woman) likes to push the limits to see just how much we can get away with. The thing is with STD’s being more prevalent than ever and with the possibility of creating a child, why even go there?
Most people believe that Men who claim to b 100% faithful are either lying or are scared of being caught and that women who claim their men are 100% faithful are either lying or ignorant. I think the fear of being caught is the biggest reason that people don’t cheat….especially in a society like ours where people are nosy. You might choose to be faithful just bcuz u love your mate and u wouldn’t want to do anything to cause them pain. I feel like there is always going to be someone out there that ur going to be attracted to, but ur not gonna b able to find a good decent mate who you’ll share an intense connection with. A lot of times we cheat and find ourselves feeling as though it wasn’t worth it….the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes u just gotta set up ur lawn chair where u already are.
There is a small percentage of men (like my brother) who wholeheartedly desire one and only one woman, but they are the last of a dying breed. The one thing I want the most here on this earth is to find one mate that I can grow with and experience life with. With all this being said, is it so naïve to want to believe that one person could be enough?..that I can b the one and only person to please my mate mentally, physically, and spiritually? Should we just accept the way things are? Should we even attempt to get in or stay in a committed relationship when we know that cheating is pretty much inevitable?
Monogamy is still alive and well, it's just less cool these days. With rappers and singers spitting out mesmerizing rhymes that speak against monogamy and "JUST HAVING ONE GIRL" people have lost sight to what a relationship really is...what sex really is... and don't even consider love in the whole equation. There are people out there who were raised right by their parents and had good examples of how love and just two people can create a completion that empty sex with a lot of people can not and will never create. I understand wanting to be young and enjoy player days, but I believe that all of that would go out of the window if everyone found the one person or in some polygamist's cases, two or three women/men whom they really connect with. That's my opinion on the whole thing...so just because one man may seem like he can't keep his dick in check doesn't mean the same for the rest of them. :) good post homes.
ReplyDeleteI think monogamy is still alive but it is rare. i agree with everything you said. men cheat cuz they can... and i think women cheat to either get back at the men who cheat on them or cuz they're not gettin fulfilled in the relationship they're in. but personally i think it's worth it to take the chance on gettin in a serious monogamous relationship with someone, but not until they prove their loyalty to me. but i think women should give up on love or monogamy if that's really wat they want. i'm a huge believer in real, loyal, monogamous love!
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